FABRIC FRIDAY
Happy Friday! Here is a funny mushroom joke inspired by the Natalie Lymer's Woodland, Toadstool Spots Turquoise fabric.
A mushroom goes into a bar and sits down to order a drink. The bartender walks over and says, I'm sorry sir, but we don't serve your kind here.
The mushroom sits back and asks, Why not? I'm a fun guy (fungi)! (Hehehe)
To enter for a chance to win one yard of Natalie Lymer Woodland, Toadstool Spots Turquoise tell us a joke. It can be any ol' joke. Leave your comment anytime between now and Friday, December 15th. Tweet, Stumble, or share on Facebook and leave another comment letting us know. Come back every day for new entries. We'll randomly select a winner and announce right here next Friday.
Find out who won last week's Fabric Friday after the jump...
The winner of one yard of Monaluna Circa 52, Organic Cotton, Cars Natural is...
Sarah said...
i'd go for the 60's. than my mom and i could hang out in high school and get into trouble together. :-*
Congrats! Please use the contact form to send us your address and Fabricworm will send off your prize!
Labels: giveaway
posted by Prudent Baby @ 11:00 AM
67 Comments:
Gotta go with my kids' favorite:
There were two muffins in an oven. The first says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second screams, "Ack! A talking muffin!"
Where do the pirates go to get rootbeer? Arrrr-bys! (Lol...not the most original, but a favorite around our house)
I will tell you my favorite dumb joke.
What do you call a bird that flies into a screen window??
Shredded Tweet.
I told you it was dumb :)
Desi
weeshareblog@gmail.com
How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away her credit card.
I wonder if there is such thing as a funny joke? :-)
What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert after supper? No thanks, I'm stuffed....
My son loves this one:
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9!
LOL - great idea for comments :)
as told to me originally by my (at that time) 4 year old niece:
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it
(said while shaking her little bootie!)
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
Meet you at the corner!
What's a fish with no Eyes?
FSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH
Get it? No "i's" lol
It's better when a toddler says it.
My son loves to tell this one...
What do you call a dog that lives at the North Pole?
A chili dog!
How do you catch a unique armadillo?
Unique up on it!
How do you catch a tame armadillo?
Tame way. Unique up on it!
(This is my favorite joke! I am still giggling!)
supermom82(at)gmail(dot)com
I tweeted the giveaway (@Supermom8)
That fabric is ADORABLE!!! My mom told me this joke.
Why doesn't Frankenstein get very many dates?
Because his nuts are on his neck.
info(at)lilikoilane(dot)com
Two snowmen are standing next to each other in a yard.
One says to the other : “Funny, I smell carrots too.”
My kids love this one :)
My daughter's idea was:
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Owl.
Owl Who?
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow
Inter...MOOO!!!
It's much funnier in person, but it ceases to be funny when my kids have told it to me 100 times already.
knock knock. who's there? smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell mah poooooo!) :)
A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle me Elmo dolls". It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her that she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes. On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed that she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls. The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll Two----Test----Tickles."
laura at littlekahootz dot com
my four year old's favourite:
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8(ate),9.
Love the fabric!!!
Michelle
mich_26@live.ca
our favorite new joke: what's invisible and smell like bananas? monkey farts!
That is super cute fabric!
I heard a pretty bad joke at work recently:
A guy walked into a bar and ordered 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender poured them all and the man started pounding them down, one after the other. The bartender watched amazed. As the man was nearly finished with the shots the bartender said, "wow, you're drinking pretty fast. Is everything ok?"
The man paused dramatically and said, "yeah, you wouldn't want what I got."
"Geez, sounds bad. What have you got?" said the bartender.
The man did the last shot of whiskey and replied "...75 cents" and ran out the door.
It's actually pretty funny when you hear it. Not so much looking at it in writing. Oh well, enjoy!
A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"
A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"
He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won!
Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"
The operator replies, "I don't know, buddy.... She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up she fainted!"
If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test?
I love dumb jokes! My favorite is...
what do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsssshhhh!
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese!
(get it? "not your cheese")
I know I've heard MUCH better jokes recently but I can't remember any but this one right now.
Curtsey of my 5 yo, What did the peanut say to the police officer? I got a-salted.
What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs!
-Sharon M
Costumer83 at hotmail dot com
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Ha ha ha!
what do elfs learn in school?
the elf-a-bet!
hahah!
In a race to the moon between Flash and Superman, who would win? Chuck Norris
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned up the sun.
(My 13 yr old LOVES Chuck Norris-isms)
Q. Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A. Because he had low elf esteem.
Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "Hey buddy...why the long face?"
Why does the seagull fly over the sea?
Because if he flew over the bay he would be a bagel :D :D :D
A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and asks the bartender how much he owes. Bartender says, "for you, no charge."
and a second one (because I couldn't choose which to post)
So the proton turns to the neutron and says, "Hey, I think I lost an electron!" The neutron asks, "are you sure?" And the proton replies, "yes, I'm positive."
Not really funny, but one that's been stuck in my head lately.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick
My kindergartener's current favorite:
What do birds say on Halloween?
Trick or Tweet!
Here is one of my favorites as a kid:
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick!!
DId you ever hear the one about the guy who walked into a bar? He said, "ouch!"
I haven't heard some of these! Too funny!
My daughter (3 1/2) is into knock knock jokes. We started with "Knock knock" "who's there?" "Boo" "Boo Who?" "Aww, don't cry, it's just a joke". She substitutes "Boo" with any other word, and the joke doesn't make sense anymore but she still thinks it's hilarious :p
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts!
here's a nerdy one for you
Two atoms are drinking at the bar. Suddenly one says to the other, "I've just lost one of my
electrons!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"Yes," replied the first atom. "I'm positive."
Q: What is short, green, and has wheels?
A: Grass. I lied about the wheels.
I don't remember where we heard this one recently, but my kids love it and have derived all kinds of variations from it!
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
mummytocharis[at]yahoo[dot]com
A duck walked into a bar, he should have ducked. Hmmm, I messed that up!
Why did the baby strawberry cry?
Because his mother was in a jam.
What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto. Evin5 at aol dot com
A beautiful, sexy, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy in a plane...... The lady said to him, "Can you help me remove something from my breast please?" The excited young man replied, "Wow! It will be my pleasure....... So what is it?". "Your Eyes, idiot!"
jowynj@blueyonder.co.uk
what did one melon say to the other?
honey, do (honeydew) you want to run off and get married?
no, we can't elope (cantaloupe).
What did one eye say to the other?
Between me and you something smells.
What do you call ham that you really want?
Pork-you-pine!
Okay, so one my husband's favorite movies is Pulp Fiction and there is this really awful joke in it...here goes:
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
So he goes back and squishes Baby Tomato and says: "Ketchup." (get it...catch up!)
Two peanuts were walking down an alley, and one was a salted.
You might need to say it out loud for it to be funny. :)
How do you make Lady Gaga Cry? Poke 'er face!!
Where do dogs go to get new tails?
The re-tail store!
I have shared the giveaway on facebook
jowynj(at)blueyonder(dot)co(dot)uk
What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
A Toy-yoda.
Q: What did the 0 say to the 8?
A: Nice belt!
Thanks for the fun giveaway!
What do you call a sheep with no legs or head?
A cloud!
Thanks
Why don't you get dressed in the same room as a Pokemon?
Because he'll Pikachu!
We are shared giveaway on Facebook
marta zygmunt kisielewska
Back for another entry today. (and to read some more jokes - I love them!) Here's one of my favorites:
Q: Where did the king keep his armies?
A: In his sleevies!
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
what's white and stand in a corner?
A bad refrigerator!!!
Love this give away!
How do you catch an elephant?
You dig a hole, fill it with ashes and put a peanut in the middle. When an elephant comes to get the peanut, you kick in the ash hole.
Get it? :) This used to be my favorite joke as a kid! I think it was funny to me because I got to swear without getting into trouble or feeling guilty. lol!
Q: How can you tell when a clock is hungry?
A: It goes back for seconds!
Good thing the giveaway ends tomorrow - I'm running out of jokes!
I've stumbled upon the giveaway.
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